Dear Jessika
Wow I need you today! I am still trying to recover the boys things, to no avail. Seems like everything they didn't grab is "lost". You believe that? Me either. At this point I know I am being lied to, just not sure if it because they have the items but say they don't, or if it was all gotten rid of and they don't want me to know.
Remember how you used to shop in my attic any time I was gone? lol I always found them when I visited you. Sometimes took a while since you frequently changed the appearance a little - or a lot. It never bothered me much since I knew I would get them back either when you found something to replace it or when I needed it. Now, they are all lost to me. Even my grandma's cookie cutters.
Remember standing all day in the rain with me at that auction, when you were pregnant with your first? I had to have that old mirror! Who knew it would be one of the last things to go. We were so happy when we got it home and cleaned it up. But, it didn't fit where I wanted it. So, I let you and Lance use it until I found a place for it, just like that floor clock. Well, now I have a place for it, but guess who won't return them. If I had known you would be leaving us, I would have gone into your house and removed all my items!
As painful as that is, losing all those things, it is a drop in the bucket compared to losing you. They may have my stuff, but I have you in my heart forever and always. They can't take that.
I miss you
Love
Mom
Ps, if you want to put some fear in either one of them - go for it!
M.
Letters to my daughter
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Jessika
Dear Jessika
Oh baby girl, time has not made things less painful. I think of you every day and I know your dad does also. So many times I want to pick up the phone to tell you some gossip or ask your opinion. It is so damn hard.
Your boys are great, growing, eating me out of house and home. I wish I could say the same for the little ones, but as you well know their dad just doesn't let them come out but once in a blue moon. So sad for them. They lost you, and now us and their brothers. Just don't understand at all. Please keep them safe.
I have just a few of your things, the rest have never been returned. But I am fixing that shelf up in my bedroom with some of your baby things, dolls and your flowers from your high school dances. I will see happy memories of you every morning when I wake up!
Your dad drug home an old camper. I makes me think of all the camping we did when you were little. We sure put some miles on that old pop-up. I can still hear your giggle as you and our collie Nikki would explore the trails around our campsite.
I miss you baby girl. I have to go now, the tears are starting.
I will love you forever and ever.
Mom
Oh baby girl, time has not made things less painful. I think of you every day and I know your dad does also. So many times I want to pick up the phone to tell you some gossip or ask your opinion. It is so damn hard.
Your boys are great, growing, eating me out of house and home. I wish I could say the same for the little ones, but as you well know their dad just doesn't let them come out but once in a blue moon. So sad for them. They lost you, and now us and their brothers. Just don't understand at all. Please keep them safe.
I have just a few of your things, the rest have never been returned. But I am fixing that shelf up in my bedroom with some of your baby things, dolls and your flowers from your high school dances. I will see happy memories of you every morning when I wake up!
Your dad drug home an old camper. I makes me think of all the camping we did when you were little. We sure put some miles on that old pop-up. I can still hear your giggle as you and our collie Nikki would explore the trails around our campsite.
I miss you baby girl. I have to go now, the tears are starting.
I will love you forever and ever.
Mom
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