Well Baby Girl, we made it thru another Christmas, our 4th without you. It just never feels right, no matter what we do. We try, for your kids, but it is just flat, the heart of it is gone. We had a celebration with the two little ones a week early. I would love to have them on a holiday, just once. We did the boys yesterday, and then they took off. The older 2 went to their girlfriends, the younger with his dad to his other grandparents. It was, nice. Truthfully, if not for your kids we wouldn't bother. We try to talk about you to all the kids, I want them to know you. The older ones will have memories, but the youngest don't have many. They have to get to know you thru our stories. Boy do we have a ton of them, lol. Every time little Ry says he misses you I just can't hold back the tears. He says it isn't fair that he doesn't have you. He is so right, it isn't fair.
I hate when people say everything happens for a reason. Bull shit. Some stuff does. But what could be a reason for losing you? For your children not to have their Mother? There is no reason. It is what it is, but not everything happens for a reason.
I guess that is all for now. As usual the tears are flowing. I hope you had a beautiful Christmas in Heaven. I love you, miss you and look forward to the time we are together again.
Love Mom
